Dealing with the Old Man

From Dave Black Online:

Next week in our New Testament Theology class we will be studying the theology of John’s Gospel. The subject is far beyond either my intelligence or my personal experience. This Gospel contains things so high I cannot attain them. How can one measure one’s life against the humility and self-abnegation of the Stooping Servant of John 13? Lew Ayotte, in his recent review of The Jesus Paradigm, bemoans his failure to live up to the example of Jesus. The reality is that the author of that book is the greatest failure of all. My ugly flesh reared itself up only last night as I spoke rudely to someone I love deeply. Becky saw it and immediately reprimanded me, as she should have. To ask for forgiveness was a crux (the Latin word for cross), a crucial moment in my walk with God. If only my readers knew how alive the old man is within me! And I am to teach the theology of John? Is there a more precious revelation of the heart of our loving Lord? Sovereignty silences my mouth. John is too high for me. So is Jesus.

Or is He? Does He not still stoop to serve His unworthy followers, motivated only by love? I know my own weaknesses, but He knows them better. What can I do except to choose to believe in this Foot-Washing Savior, to trust, to accept? That much I can do. He is still the God of this prideful New Testament teacher, this sometimes rude and arrogant husband and father, this sinner saved by grace.