7:18 AM Do you remember this dialogue from the movie Schindler’s List? It haunts me to this day. It’s between Schindler and Stern:

Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just… I could have got more.

Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.

Oskar Schindler: If I’d made more money… I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I’d just…

Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.

Oskar Schindler: I didn’t do enough!

Itzhak Stern: You did so much.

[Schindler looks at his car]

Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people.

[removing Nazi pin from lapel]

Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this.

[sobbing]

Oskar Schindler: I could have gotten one more person… and I didn’t! And I… I didn’t!

Often I have asked myself, “Why is it I haven’t prayed more for the lost? Why is it I haven’t given more to help further the cause of global missions? How much more could I have done for missions had I not been so selfish? Why did I wait so long in life to learn the importance of of Christ’s call to live a life of radical Christian servanthood? Can I live more simply so that I can send more of my money into His work? Have I submitted every area of my life to His Lordship? When was the last time I shed tears for lost Muslims? If I really submitted my schedule to Christ, how would my life be different? How much more can I do? How much more should I do?”

Often I have to get on my face and say, “Lord, please forgive me for my sloth and self-centeredness. Please forgive me and cleanse me.” How am I spending my leisure time? My vacations? My limited energy (I am getting older). Do I ask the Lord to plan my days and minutes even? Today, this very day, I need to compare my life against the Scriptures and see where I need to be. How can I best relate the crying demands of the unfinished missionary task to my everyday life and work?

In Greek class yesterday we translated Philippians 1:18-26 and saw that Paul was willing to risk his life to preach the uncompromising Word of God. The approval of others, fancy titles, popularity — these meant nothing to him. They were less than nothing, mere skubala. His one goal in life was to know Christ and to make Him known. I called the class to make a decision. There is no place in seminary for the study of God’s Word without obedience. Far better not to study Philippians than to disobey its call to put the Gospel first in everything. Somewhere in the midst of our studies we must come to the place where we see the world as Jesus does, where are hearts break because His breaks, when we measure everything against the yardstick of the Great Commission.

“I didn’t do enough!”

No, and I haven’t either. Shame on me. Shame on all of us who are not consumed with the Gospel.

(From Dave Black Online. David Alan Black is the author of Energion titles Christian Archy, The Jesus Paradigm,  Why Four Gospels? and  Will You Join the Cause of Global Missions?. Used by permission.)